Friday, October 23, 2009

Not So Brilliant After All!

Alrite, let's get this really straight! I thought your excuse for failing to meet deadline was stupid! Nothing more than pure stupidity! Just plain stupid, STUPID!

Emerald Brilliant, SS2

Grandma came all the way to KL to get her mandarin suit tailored. So, we hired Emerald Brilliant for the job. Cloth chosen, measurement taken, deposit paid, & deadline marked. Emerald Brilliant promised to deliver by 15th Oct. Good, deal closed!

I wanted to spot check on their progress when the deadline was close. But refrained from doing so because Emerald Brilliant was credible, so I thought.

On 15th Oct, the person in charge called, informing me that the selected cloth was out of stock. She asked me to opt for other choices. Brilliant!

I was really really angry. It took them 2 long weeks to inform me! Why?! They never confirm the availability of their stocks before accepting orders. Why again?!

The excuse given was they took that darn long to search for the same pattern all over KL. Oh really? Well, find harder, STUPID! Don't you worry. I'll be back, & I'll negotiate a better deal out of this. Be prepared, STUPID!

Monday, January 12, 2009

Kopitiam Fall/Winter 2008

It seems like adorning your couch with yellow adhesive strips is the new craze this season! Count yourself a member of the outdated bunch if you're still sitting on one of those immaculately stitched sofas in any kopitiam.

Don't believe me? See it for yourself.

Did you know that the Ipoh Old Town White Coffee controls 46% (No, I didn't make this up. Yes, I got this figure from The Edge some months ago.) of the coffee exports in the country? The young White Coffee mogul anticipated the new-age kopitiam trend. It is no surprise that such a young & talented man with sharp senses has sniffed out the trend in kopitiam couch!

Well, here's a piece of humble advice for fellow fashionists. Embrace thyself with the yellow tape & worship the torn couch.

As for the parents, simply tell your kids to stay behind the yellow line. *wink*

Friday, December 26, 2008

What da heck with MBPJ??!!

So, what happened to the Majlis Bandaraya Petaling Jaya? Apparently, it's the season for anyone or everyone to excuse themselves for throwing a party or being seen in one. Well, I have no objections to whatever that interests you. But it bothers me when selfish party hosts close down main roads just to fuss over a preparation for their extravaganza gala.

(Royal Bintang Guest Only)

MBPJ is holding a Christmas + New Year Party at the Royal Bintang in The Curve tonight. They blocked the main road leading to all the major shopping destinations in the area, caused traffic disorder & confusion.

Parking reserved for the guests in the Curve

I have 4 questions:

1. Isn't it part of MBPJ's responsibility to help ease out traffic problems instead of creating more?

2. Since when celebrating Christmas is a non-christian organization's culture?

3. Is that how you're spending the tax payers' money?

4. Can't you do your party preparation in midnight?

Oh my... You're such an idiot for creating the unnecessary chaos.


Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Carelessly MAS-ed

The next time you ask a cabin crew to handle your hand-carried suit, hoping that it is gonna be safe & sound in the wardrobe some 10,000 ft. above land & sea, & you simultaneously freak out that you're ever gonna leave it behind again, take matters into your own hands. Do not trust the cabin crew, not even the hired airlines.

A close friend of mine, let's call him Mr. K, has just bought a Paul Smith suit specially for a wedding. He was in fact, the best man. The wedding was sometime in Dec. in Bali. Oh, did I mention that the suit was an extravagance? It was approx. RM4k.

So, upon his return, he did precisely what I mentioned in the 1st paragraph, except that it was actually the 1st time he's ever forgotten to recollect his suit from the wardrobe.
He landed bout 5ish in the evening. But the missing suit only struck him later when he reached home. He was beyond worried, maybe just a few inches below the devastated point.

Mr. K called to KLIA. He was directed & transferred to a few departments (Note: this is very normal in Malaysia, nobody really knows what exactly everyone does). K was obviously fed-up & fuckstrated. Only sometime later, he was informed that the airlines' system was down, hence, causing it impossible to locate the plane where he left his suit in.

Absurd & stupid? Yes, I know. How could an international airport fall into any system failure? Don't they have any technical appliances back-ups? What if there were a hijack? What if there are more what-ifs? There was really nothing K could do, but to wait until the system recovers. About 10ish on the same night, the Lost & Found at the KLIA finally called. Informing K that they have relocated the plane, & that the suit was with them. Phew~~ This is a lesson to learn, but you can be rest assured that this unfortunate event has geographically mapped a dark spot in his mind.

So, let me analyse this. The KLIA experienced a system failure that lasted for some 5 hours if I have my facts correctly. If a sucidal terrorist attack were to unleash, & it takes only 30 minutes for a group of 'skillful' armed men to fly the plane, & crash the Petronas Twin Towers; 10 twin towers are already gone by now! & how many lives were sacrified? I really can't do the sum...

Then, I decided to e-mail KLIA asking bout the cause & effect of this system failure. But to my dismay, I've never gotten any reply from its PR.

In the world filled with the uncontrollable, let's take comfort in knowing that the chances of us being hijacked is almost impossible. But in the endless battle against the terrorist, is the Kuala Lumpur International Airport allowed to have a system breakdown at all? Well, you tell me... This is surely something to brag about...

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Wondermilk? As if!!

Writing this entry isn't easy for me. It's like turning in your loved ones for some kinda sinful conviction. Yes, u've sinned my love. & in the name of justice, I shall boycott you until further notice! Adios, Wondermilk!!

But don't get me wrong. I love cupcakes! I'm a self-proclaimed master in the Art of Cupcake Flirting! I like holding my victim, gentle enough for it to rest between my grip. I can stare at it for minutes; channeling my psychic power into its core, making it duplicates itself into 2, & then 4, 8, 16...!!! (you should hear Mojo Jojo's wicked laughter echos in your skull by now)

*This is usually the part when I shake my head violently to wake my-magic-obsessed-self up.

Let's face it! Cupcake is a divine indulgence to die for! But what happened that day, made me think 2x; no, 3x; no, I think more! Wait! Shit! I lost count! Damn it!

So, one gracious afternoon, my colleagues & I sneaked out of the office during lunch. All united with a single mission: get the god damn cupcakes before the clock ticks 2 (which is when our lunch time is up, but usually, we never make it in time)!

It wasn't really the perfect timing coz lunch hour + rush hour... do you see how this equation works? What you'll get is a car full of cupcakes addicts screaming & cursing at whoever or rather whatever that cuts in to their way.

Finally, we made it. Got ourselves a car park. Ran across the shadeless parking field; endured the skin-piercing, eyes-blinding heat. "Oh My God! We made it here, alive!" (a drop or 2 of teardrops usually take place to compliment this visual)

We pushed the door & let ourselves in. Trying our very best to up hold our missionary grace, not hinting what a erratic journey we've had, at all!

Walked over to the counter, Colleague E & J asked: "We would like to pick up our orders." Waitress acknowledged them, & went in to the kitchen. Colleague E: "I hope my boobies & willies turn out fine. Hehehe! Those are for my boyfrined." I eye-balled her but looked away after knowing that she didn't notice me. Colleague J: "Oh! Mine's for my bro's birthday. I ordered Luuvvv On The Cream. Hehehe!" How nice, I thought.

Colleague E's boobies & willies

Colleague J's Luuvvv On The Cream
(note that there is no nesting to hold the mini cupcakes)

The waitress gave them 2 large boxes. We checked the content. Happy & satisfied. Then, off we go! We hopped back in to the car & rocketed back to office.

A heart breaking discovery unfolded when we checked out Colleague J's cupcakes in the office. Some of the cupcakes have toppled over the others, defacing each other terribly. "Oh no! Safe the cupcakes!" Colleague J: "Copsticks! Spoon! Fork!" (imagine us in the emergency ward)

After arranging the casualties back into order,
It was such a terrible sight to behold
(*warning: parental guidance is needed if necessary)

With hands over our mouths, we couldn't have been more sorry for Colleague J's lost. She immaculately put the casualties back into arragement. & allowed me to snap pictures for the obituary.

"I need a hero, I'm holding on for a hero to the end of the night." Yes, I could hear Colleague J repeated this Tina-Turner-chorus in her wounded heart. She's fuckstrated, of course! So, I picked up the phone & made a call that I thought would make a difference.

A girl answered. I told her what happened, & asked for her advice. But she said there's just nothing she could do coz what sold is not refundable. I totally understood. But keeping mini cupcakes in a large box without any proper nesting to hold them is clearly a failure in product design, I argued. Hence, it should hold both the buyer & the producer for responsibility. I told her that I wasn't happy with her answer. "There are still cupcakes available at the booth. You are welcome to buy them if you want to", she said.

I then realized I needed to talk to someone else with better customer service knowledge or someone in higher ranking to sort my problem out. So, I asked to talk to the owner. "Oh, I'm the owner..." came the other side.

"How pathetic!!"

I was dumbfounded. I told her that I wouldn't buy any from her anymore, & told her that I would blog about this.

That's how I bit an eternal farewell to my beloved cupcakes......

Saturday, December 6, 2008


The scene opens at an establishing shot of my office. Cut to a tracking shot of me walking in, preferably tailgating from behind because I'm supposed to remain anonymous. Cut to me settling in at my table, drawing out my glasses case from my bag. A close up shot when I open the case and prepare to put on the specs, the specs break into half. Oh, I need a cut away shot here, please. A super duper close up at the broken parts. Fast cut to a series of extreme emotions taking place (a menacing tune should have started playing in your head by now). Zoom out to reveal the victim and his object, fade to black slowly... Dita Grand Reserve broke at the point where a screw was planted into the frame. "WART DAR FARRKKKK" came bursting out from me throat! I was appalled at the fragility of the frame.

So, wat i did was to send it back to the optical shop and ask for a repair. I wished i could just press Ctrl+Z, & restore the poor bastard into normalcy. So, the Malaysian retailer promised to send it back to the Singaporean dealer to see what can be done. Probably a new frame in exchange for the broken frame, but chances are slim. Well, I kept my fingers crossed.

Some time later, approx. some 3 months later, I was told that the Japanese manufacturer has refused to do anything to the frame coz it was clearly not the manufacturer's fault.

I became very angry and fuckstraded because of all my anticipation, & time of waiting for an answer were wasted! Not forgetting to mention that the Singaporean dealer has been holding on to my specs for some 90 days without returning the specs to its lawful owner. So, I started making calls to Tokyo & got in touch with Mr. Tommy Ogara, the founder of Dita Eyewear. He was in fact, very helpful, & I was glad that he took this matter into his own hands =)

I was disappointed at such accusation. I called him at that very night & explained to him what has actually happened. Only then we found out that the Singaporean dealer has never presented the broken specs to Tommy. Oh btw, the dealer has a shop in The Central, Singapore called 'N-Lab Concepts' (the mentioned name has been modified to protect the real identity of the shop, but I guess you intelligent singaporeans know what I'm talking bout *grin*).

Anyways, I got in touch with the dealer, & asked for an explaination.

After much of some kind of communication, I was finally getting a new pair of Grand Reserve 52. Good news! But 1 other issue, what went wrong with the frame I 1st bought??!! Here's what Mr. Tommy said:

So, the dealer sells sample frames to his customers??? @.@

Oh well, I couldn't care much now as long as I've got mine back.

However, after some 4 months, a nut went missing. I supposed that this is normal...... but I've already got Reliance to fix it for me. Oh well, let's see what's gonna fall off after some months later... God bless....

Scene fades to black...... Credits starts rolling up, 'Special thanks to Mr. Tommy Ogara, everyone at Reliance Optical, Bangsar, & Mr. M from N-Lab'.